Tis I, the amazing mustalid (insert “ta-dah” sound here). Telling the story of the takeover of my new home.
When I first arrived at my new home, my palace (referred to by some hoomans as a “cage”) was located in the loungeroom. This room is a hub of activity, and also the place where NewMumma sleeps. At first NewMumma did not seem to understand why I would ring the magical bell-in-a-ball, but she soon got the hang of it. The first time I got the expected response of “Aww, lookit you on your back playing with your toy. How cute. Would you like a treat?” At 2am when I rang for room service again, the response was a mumbled “Oh, hungry again huh? Hang on a sec while I get up and get you another treat”. Later in the evening (well, to be honest, early morning) NewMumma had regressed to “It’s 5am. Yes you are cute. Now go to sleep.” After two nights of this, plus showing NewMumma how my cage should be set up (this blankey needs to go here, that blankey needs to go there, the ramp needs to go in the poop-tray, and this really loud toy needs to be moved constantly), my palace was moved to the study. NewMumma explained that the study was the warmest room in the house, and that she spent most of her waking hours here. She also muttered something about “What hours did his carer keep?” and “I’ve gotta do something about those balls”.
Expecting even more new toys (the “balls” comment was misleading), I was excited when I was put in a small cage and taken for a car ride … presumably to a ferret toy store where I could choose my own toys. Was I wrong! Yes, the people were nice. They said all the right things – “Aww, isn’t he cute” “Wow, isn’t he big” (I tipped the scales at 1.44kg) ….. then “Um, I need to wash my hands” and “Gee, that smell really lingers” and “Just breathe the anaesthetic, and be a good boy”. When I woke up after an unexpected and sudden nap, I found that NewMumma had been asked to come in and take me home – something about “We can smell him in the waiting room”. Later that day (after a few more naps) I was taken out of my palace for play time. Imagine my confusion when I went happy-dance, happy-dance, then fell over (fwap). I tried again. Happy-dance, fwap. Happy-dance, fwap. Hmm, my center of gravity seems to have changed. I looked underneath myself and was sure that there was something missing. I had a vague recollection of some extra bits that were no longer there. Oh well, I soon adjusted and was playing normally again.
Oh, and play! I have all these great toys! And they move and squeak and everything! NewMumma calls them “cats” and says that I can play with them, but I am not supposed to go “leap – teeth in cat tail – draggy ferret anchor” with the cats. Another thing I am not supposed to do is chew on the furry black sticks. The first (and last) time I did this, NewMumma picked me up and put me in my palace for a minute while she dealt with the “traumatised greyhound”. Apparently the furry black sticks are part of this thing called a greyhound. I can play with the white furry thing that is another one of those “dog” things and is fun to play with – she lets me chew on her nose and lick the inside of her ears, and sometimes she washes me as well.
So it is all a big adventure for me. Soon I will be meeting the dookies in the big cage, but NewMumma says she will formally introduce me to one dookie at a time. She said something about finding a cuddle-buddy for me. I go into their room and try to look in the cage, but when I stand on my back legs to get a better look, the fwap-monster gets me and I end up on my back, feet in the air. NewMumma says she has never heard an upside down ferret dook before. There is so much I have to teach her – like my amazing ability to open drawers from underneath cabinets, my ability to turn a black plastic garbag into a valued toy, and my ability to make complete strangers go “Awww”. Yes, I will makeover NewMumma’s life. I have many skills. I am supper-ferret!